The Life in a Day of an ADHD Baker (written by his Spicy Wife)

Surely you mean a day in the life ..? Nope … and don’t call me Shirley!

When you run a sourdough bakery it’s all-consuming. Your life revolves around feeding the starter, stretch and folds, bakes and cakes, deliveries, shops, markets, admin, marketing … and all to the detriment of everyday life. We’ve missed out on holidays, parties, outings and family time over the years, and sometimes it really feels like a lifetime since you got up that morning!

Conversely, it can also whizz by in a fantastic, epic, mind-blowing and wonderful nanosecond. It’s hard to believe that we have been doing this for six years, but then in retrospect, the most surprising thing is that we ever got started at all!

I don’t know about you, but we’re the kind of people who need a ‘run-up’ to things? D’you know what I mean? Spontaneity is a dirty word in our household. Changes of plans create meltdowns and the need to adapt has been forced, rather than nurtured. It recently took me two months to print and mail a letter because the analogical logistics of doing it without a working printer in the house caused executive function paralysis! The struggle is only too real.

We are, what has become known internationally as, Neuro-Spicy. All four of us. Our sons are home educated because of it, and if we were to delve into it, it spans across the wider family and generations on both sides.

Joe is very much ADHD in the conventional sense, but also in any of the following : Amazingly Driven & Highly Determined, Always Dreaming, Happily Discovering, Always Doing & Heart-fully Dedicated.

I’m AuDHD, perhaps better described as an Authentically Unconventional, but Deeply (and sometimes painfully) Honest Dreamer, or perhaps more fittingly, Awkwardly Unfiltered, Detailed and Hyper-Defiant! Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Sonny has so many letters after his name he’s heading for a knighthood and a doctorate, and Woody we’re not quite sure about, on ‘The Spectrum’, yes, but probably somewhere around purple. Both unique and amazing humans that are hopefully set for great things one day.

Joe’s got multiples of the same outfit because ‘it feels right’. Even looking at a shirt makes him feel ‘icky’. Ask him to remember the name of the person he just spoke to – nothing, but he can remember a recipe in full or recount word for word a documentary he watched last month about the wonders of turmeric or the evils of medieval torture devices! And that’s just for starters, no pun intended.

I, on the other hand, am in constant inner turmoil as I’m sure many can relate. AuDHD, is an unmelodious mix of Autism and ADHD that repel and counterbalance/fight each other, probably best described as an oxymoron wrapped up in human form. Intelligence and moronic behaviour run concurrently with an unhealthy dose of Imposter Syndrome dolloped on top, laced with the confidence of a four-year-old in a Batman t-shirt. When argued with, I’m never wrong, but also add Libran tendencies and Menopause, and getting a decision out of me is like coaxing a snail to sprint. The indecision and procrastination is crippling and quite frankly, exhausting.

Joe’s urge to be his own boss stems from when his working life first began and he discovered a dislike of being told what to do, but was unsure of how to go about it. It was my idea to start a sourdough enterprise that all began with bagels, and the first lot were rock-hard! Many a jaw was tested to its limits until Joe had his holy grail sourdough eureka moment!

It was meant to be a low-risk, side-hustle alongside his upcoming job running a pizza kitchen, but then Covid intervened and as Joe was in-between jobs with no furlough, the need to provide for our family was the push we needed to kickstart The Appledore Bakery.

Possibly, we cornered a niche gap in the local market, perhaps the stars aligned, but the reality is that we are still here; testament to bloody-mindedness, lots of hard work and long hours and now, of course, helped immensely by our fantastic Team. (Always with a capital ‘T’)

The fact that it took a global pandemic, impending homelessness and starvation to get us off the starting block (albeit with masks and from a safe distance) is more than illustrative! Even then I dragged my heels and prevaricated claiming “this business has got nothing to do with me! It’s your baby'” (I still maintain this diva stance).

Our day starts around 4am when Joe pings awake and starts worrying about the state of the world, consulting social media to confound and amplify his fears. Once satiated by his algorithm and Chat GPT, he gets up and leaves for the bakery any time between 5 and 7, day dependent.

Once there, Luke (our other exceptional Baker), will have already started baking all of the bread that’s been proving overnight. We now have a walk-in fridge. Luxury! When we first started we had domestic fridges that multiplied in number over time to about 10 as we grew. We also now have a proper bread oven instead of the two pasty ovens that we inherited in our first premises. We did attempt to get them out when had to move out last year due to a crumbling roof, but apart from knocking the front wall out, they were going nowhere. Probably just as well as they were held together with hope and a strategically placed screw! It was all very thrown together and haphazard when we first started, masquerading as meant.

Whilst the bread is baking, the massive pots of water are gently brought to the boil for our sourdough bagels. Boiling them for a couple of minutes prior to baking seals them and blows them up in size to create a beautiful soft inside with a delicate crust.

This is where Joe’s ADHD manifests greatness. A kitchen or bakery environment can really suit ADHD brains. Fast-paced, hands-on, multi-tasking, physically active, not desk-bound and completely sensory. ADHD is often linked to higher creative thinking, and baking can provide that creativity, but with clear steps.

The more the pressure and copious amounts of jobs that build, the more efficient Joe becomes. As the rock cakes are moulded, the smooth dark chocolate melts and shines, the swirls are glazed and the bread oven repeatedly pings, his dopamine surges. Two of the things that Joe excels at are problem-solving and devising systems. It all just flows. Luke and Joe work so cohesively together with an almost telepathic unity. It’s like watching a well-rehearsed ballet that culminates with crate upon crate of gorgeous goodies ready to be delivered to their various destinations. No words needed except the odd expletive or guffaw of laughter. Edward, our resident Saturday guy and ASD genius, is off to Uni in September, and often shoots them both quizzical looks as he delves faithfully into any task thrown in his direction. They work well together. Henry, my cousin’s son and another brainiac, is currently studying something very clever at Uni, and is back for the summer soon, having worked with us for a few years before he went. We’d like to take credit for his brilliance alongside his genealogy!

Just don’t ask Joe any non-relevant questions during this baking time or the balloon will burst and the energy will leak away like a slow exhale after holding your breath for too long, or depending on the question, sometimes just a pop! The deflation is actually visible once his hyper focus is lost.

When everything is baked and ready to go, this is when I usually breeze in to help with the deliveries, just as they are sitting down to a well-earned coffee, surrounded by a dusting of flour and a mountain of washing up. I have learned over the years not to say things like “not washed up yet then?” It doesn’t ride well!

Before the freshly-baked good stuff leaves, Luke and Joe start to tidy in readiness for the next round of making, folding, stretching and proofing. Luke gets on with this whilst Joe goes off to deliver and run our Barnstaple venue, and then Anna arrives to collect and deliver to Appledore where basically, she runs the show. She’s brilliant. ‘Nuff said.

If the Farmers’ Market is on or Joe is short on time, I sometimes deliver to Bideford where Lucy, another outstanding and OG member of our Team for whom nothing is too much trouble, and Rachel, who hasn’t been with us for long, but is such a stalwart asset already, have always set up the café beautifully ready for the day ahead. We know it’s in very capable hands. Milly, our catering student, works part-time and adds her accrued catering expertise, chilled outlook and unique flair. Nellie works on Saturdays in the café, and she is a teen destined for greater things who humours us for now 😀 The fact that our café is a Finalist in the Muddy Stilettos Award is mostly down to these guys. (i.e Please vote for them!! :))

It’s a well-oiled vintage machine that belies the managerial chaos beneath the hood, sometimes requiring a jump-start or a whack with a hammer to get it going.

Joe and I do actually work well together most of the time considering that we are also married. We’ve been together for 15 years, have a son of 14 and one of 13. We only got married in 2024, but that’s a story for another day.

Joe has skills that I lack, and I possess one’s he’s missing. We meet somewhere in the middle with a disordered overlap. If we are the control room in the middle of the merry-go-round, our Team are like the carousel horses galloping around us, picking up the pieces that keep dropping off!

Running your own business is not an easy choice. Admin is a colossal pain in the proverbial, especially when your strengths lie on the creative bent rather than on the fundamental straight and narrow. It’s like trying to surf with your legs and arms tied together – you just kind of bob along and not necessarily on a wave of your choice!

But bob with the tide we do, occasionally getting pulled under the water and being held down, sometimes ducking through it and periodically catching a perfectly smooth head-high right-hander. It’s definitely a ride.

As I write this it is 9pm and Joe is gently snoring away in his chair having spent the last hour trying to decide what to watch on TV! The kitchen’s a mess, the dog got short-changed on her walk and the guinea pigs are close to needing wellies in their hutch, but in the words of Frank Sinatra, That’s Life.

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Next month is back to basics with useful stuff like, how to keep your sourdough bread fresh and get the best out of your bagels.